Shadow - our Cat

Firstly, I want to say thanks for all the wonderful, supportive comments on my last post. Reading them really helped. Sadly, we had to say goodbye to Shadow yesterday. He was only getting worse and although I would have loved for him to stay it would have been selfish of me to keep him around just because I didn't want to say goodbye. He was getting weaker. Wednesday night he started to get a little shaky on his feet too. Husband called the vet yesterday morning and got an appointment for the afternoon. Although he wasn't feeling well we did have a few cuddles. He let me hold onto him as we watched birds out of the window and we did go into the garden for a while.

Husband and two sons went with him to the vet. He was an indoor cat and not used to going outside - in fact until the last couple of days he'd been terrified of it and would cling on like crazy if you tried to take him outside - and I was worried he wouldn't handle the little car trip very well. But son held him on a blanket and they said he barely meowed. I couldn't go. I couldn't do it. I was already in tears and I didn't want to stress him out. I think he was ready as they said he didn't struggle, just laid in arms as he was held. He's never been a scratcher or a biter but I was worried he was going to be in distress.

The vet checked him out. He had a tumour in his stomach. Vet says it happens sometimes with older cats. He would only get worse and be in pain. Husband and sons were with him while he went to sleep.

The house seems really empty without him. He had a bed in the living room and kitchen, both are now just blank spots and seem really empty. I keep thinking I hear him meowing. I'm just a little sad and tearful today.

Pets - How Do You Know It's Time to Let Go?

Not sure how to start this, but I know people out there can relate. Our cat, Shadow, is over 20 years old. He's had a really good, long life, but I think know he's coming to the end of it. I don't want him to suffer, but it's really difficult to say goodbye. I must admit that I'm struggling with it. 

My middle son was the one who wanted him, back when he was little and having some troubles. I wasn't even really a cat person. My only experience with cats was a kitten that scratched me (a lot) when I was little and my MIL's (sorry!) grouchy cat that didn't like me at all. Shadow decided I was his though and, over the years, I'm the one he always cuddled up to. I'm the one whose lap he sat on - I do have rather a fluffy lap. He misses me when I'm gone, meowing around the house looking for me. 

I keep going back and forth. Best for him. Selfish for me to want him to stay. Post doesn't really make sense, but oh well.

I don't take many selfies, but I was looking on my google photos for a quick pic of him and this popped up. I must have been messing around with the phone and took this.