I can't believe another week is done. It's been another week of ups and downs. Yup, still struggling. I hate saying that but it's why I haven't been around much. 

Yesterday was a really bad day. I dreamt about Mum on Thursday night. It wasn't a bad dream. We were on holiday together. Usually when I go visit we go on a coach holiday for a week. If you've ever been on one of these coach holidays you'll probably understand what I'm saying. Usually one coach (feeder coach) takes you from your home town to a pick-up point where you join another coach for your destination. It's a really long way to travel and not usually by direct route. Anyway Mum usually complains/comments that the journey is too long. Last time when we went away there was someone on our feeder coach that was going to Great Yarmouth which is only about 1 1/2 hours from Ipswich (hometown) but using the feeder coach system ends up taking most of the day. In my dream that was where we were going. It was sunny out though. 

When I woke up I cried. I missed last year's getaway due to Covid and now... I don't know. Most of the day I had crying fits. I guess it was one of those days for Mum too as my sister got hold of me and asked if I was home to video chat with Mum. I managed not to cry when I was on with mum, but she's not doing too well. Before Covid she was self sufficient and loved to chat. She's lost a lot in the few weeks since her diagnosis. It's just hard to let go of how she was. I know she's still here. I'd love to be able to give her a hug or just wave at her through a window. 

I seem to worry all the time. About Mum. About my sister who is taking care of her. I can't imagine how hard it must be for her. She has her husband and, luckily good friends who ring and talk to her for support, but I can't be there to help and it makes me feel helpless. 

Mum still has an infection - which is probably hindering her recovery. Apparently her infection markers are worse than they were when she was in the hospital. She has started on another antibiotic. Please keep her in your thoughts/prayers. I know she can use them.

I'm taking a leaf out of Bless and Eileen blogs and posting Things to be Grateful For

- my sister. I am so grateful for her. I just can't put it into words. 

- my daughter. We usually chat and text frequently, but she's been checking in with me every day as she knows how tough this has been for me. 

Photo for today : - My daughter sent me this lovely photo of a smiling Shasta to cheer me up. I could really use her cuddles right now!