Just an UGH da

I didn't post in advance ('cos who wants to hear me moan some more lol) but it was the dreaded dentist visit today. I had a cleaning and a crown. I was sure when I had booked the appointment it was cleaning first, then the crown and a filling. I go there and it was crown first, no filling and then cleaning. Anyone who has read my blog for a while knows I am absolutely in terror of the dentist (bad childhood experience). I usually take Xanax beforehand and use laughing gas when I get there. Just the change in what I had thought was happening threw me off completely. I was really nervous and anxious and just UGH. While I was having my cleaning the hygienist saw something else and they want to refer me to a root canal specialist. 

I'm not afraid to admit it but I cried in the car. I have so had enough of this. It doesn't seem to matter what I do, there is always something going on with my teeth. I took the referral but I'm going to think on it for a bit. I honestly don't know if we can afford it - at least not until this last lot is paid off. I sometimes think the providers think we have unlimited funds and if not, we can put it on a credit card that the credit card fairies just pay off.  

To top it all off, when I got home, I had a sneezing fit and now my nose is running and I keep sneezing. Either it's a cold or I'm allergic to something from the dentist. I suppose I'll see in the morning. 

As I said, I'm going to put it all to the back of my mind for a few days to find my balance once again. Tomorrow is supposed to be nice, at least later in the day, so I'm going to walk, craft and maybe sit in the garden. I'll do dailies, but I'm giving housework and any online selling stuff a rest

Photo for today - just daffodils starting to force themselves through the dead leaves at Asylum Lake. These had to be planted by the people who once farmed this land as part of the Michigan Asylum for the Insane. There are so many there that grow year after year and are a testament to how hardy these plants are. 

Back tomorrow and I will be in better spirits. 

Ugh Dentist Day and Thinking of Little Things That Bring Me Joy

I had a dentist appointment today. Anybody who has read this blog knows how much I like the dentist. Yes, in the big scheme of things and what some people have to deal with it doesn't seem like a lot, but to me it's a huge ball of anxiety that keeps me awake at night for days before an appointment and can make me really stressed. I had to have a crown today. It went...well, it went okay. As I laid there in the chair with my laughing gas (really, it's not that funny) I thought of Mum who always used to cheer me on for these appointments which she understood and never told me I was being silly. I imagined her there sitting beside me. It comforted me at the time, but afterwards it made me a little sad. I also brought forward memories of Granddaughter and her smile and the joy she brings me.

Sometimes it's the little things that get you through those times you find hard. 

I didn't do much for the remainder of the day. The appointment was at 11.20 and by the time I was home it was almost 2pm. 

I did go for a joyful walk in the morning. It was wonderful watching the beavers out and about, the geese honking and making lots of noise as they flew overhead. 

This evening I had a Asylum Lake meeting. 

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a more productive (decluttering) day but I have a hair appointment in the middle of the day - rescheduled from today when I scheduled the dentist and the hair appointment on the same day at the same time!

From this morning. 

Back tomorrow!

Another Day - Survived the Dentist

 Thanks for all the comments yesterday and the empathy. 

I was still feeling the effects of the vaccine booster this morning. I didn't feel well and had a terrible time trying to sleep with sore arm last night. I didn't have a fever so I decided to go to the dentist and just get it over with. No point putting it off. I thought about it. Really wanted to cancel, but I knew it would only delay the inevitable. It went okay. I got a little teary laying there thinking of Mum. She was always the one who talked me through going. I was thinking about that laying there. I could almost hear her telling me it would soon be over with. 

It's all done now. It was a little over an hour and a half appointment. I have a temporary crown on until I go back in January to have the permanent one put on. My arm is still sore, but the body aches have gone away now - or are just out ached by the pain in my mouth! The dentist said it would be a couple of days before my gums settled down again as the work was done close to them and they became inflamed. 

With my mouth still numb I went for a quick walk as it was sunny. I didn't do a lot once I got home - just my usual Thursday bits. 

I did manage to hang up a couple of Christmas wall hanging things I found at the dollar store. I don't spend a lot on decorations but I quite liked these. 

Tomorrow MIL and I are back at Jane's. 

November

 Oh wow. I think October - because it's one of my favourite months for scenery - went really fast! The leaves have all changed colour and with today's wind most of them are falling from the trees. We got our first little snow today. Nothing that stuck but it still has to be counted lol. We took a trip to the lakeshore as the winds were really wild. It was so cold! I shall have to make sure I dig out my long undies. I don't think I'll be needing them this week as we are having quite a warm up towards the end of the week, but I should at least know where they are.

I have a dentist appointment tomorrow - for a crown. I am not looking forward to it. My dentist will be doing tomorrow's appointment but when it comes to putting on the permanent crown in a few weeks it will be a replacement dentist as mine will be having her double mastectomy. I was given the choice of cancelling the whole thing, but I really want to get it done under this year's insurance in case I need more work next year. Although we do have some dental insurance they only pay a portion of the procedure up to a certain amount (not a lot). I opted to get it done and I was able to ask for a particular assistant to the fill in dentist so I won't feel quite as anxious. 

I know I'm worried about it as I had one of my strange stress dreams the day after the dentist called me about the change in plans. I was at the lakeshore with husband and daughter. We parked the car in the car park but by ice that had built along the lakeshore. As we stood there and I was taking photos the ice suddenly broke and washed away. I managed to get in the car but it was floating in the water, surrounded by it. Sigh. Whenever I'm stressed I have a water dream - being stranded or in the middle of water. 

I'm sure all will be well. It's actually the thought of the appointment that has me anxious. 

Today's photo is from our lakeshore trip. The water was coming up quite far along the beach but I managed to find a dry spot. Given my horrible water dreams I am really carefully about making anything close to that reality so I stayed way back. 

Phew

I spent a lot of time (more time than I should have) this weekend worrying about the dentist and worrying about daughter's car. My poor stomach! I must have had every nightmare I could imagine - teeth falling out, dropping from a great height, losing all my luggage at the airport, being at my old job and messing everything up. Now the dentist is over. Phew. A lot of fuss for about an hour and a half of dentist work. I can't help it. I had a bad experience as a child and it's stuck with me all this time. I was extremely nervous and anxious. I don't think it's been quite that bad before. I took an anxiety pill and had the gas - it certainly helped! I didn't get a lot done today. I slept when I got home. It took forever for my mouth to no longer feel numb. Now all I'm left with is a sore jaw and sore gums.

Daughter's car isn't fixed. However in the last six months she's made some fantastic friends who are helping her out with a mechanic and helping her get back and forth to work. They were even nice enough to take her out for dinner Friday night when she was feeling down. What great people! I worry because she's so far away and there's really not much we can do from here but I'm so thankful she found such a great couple to be friends with.

The weekend wasn't a complete bust as on Sunday - despite being -9c/15F and the wind being A LOT colder - the sun was actually shining. It's amazing how a little bit of sunshine can really help. Granted, it didn't last long. It's been snowing since last night, but it was good while it lasted!

From our Sunday walk along the beach. I am actually standing where the lake would usually be. 

Hubby standing on top of an ice pile.

Thank Goodness That's Over!

This is a rant. Well, a little bit of one. I hate the dentist. Really hate the dentist. I knew my cleaning/check-up appointment was coming up and have literally been dreading about it. I've been thinking about it for weeks. I even thought about cancelling. I had nightmares that my usual hygienist had left and I'd been seeing someone strange. I got that one from my friend whose knew person ended up scraping some sealant off her teeth and giving her a tooth ache!

I went. I admit I rang in for some anxiety meds and while I was on the phone confirmed that my usual woman was there. That helped a little. Only a little. I work myself up so much. I think I'm my own worst enemy. Once I'm there I'm okay.  It didn't help that on Monday I knocked something hard I was eating against my tooth, felt a pain and when I poked around there was a really sharp pain between a tooth and my bridge (goes away immediately, no pain flossing or sensitivity).

I can happily report that all went well! I don't have to go back for six months! Yippeee! Dentist checked out the spot that was bothering me and says it just looks like the gum. She put some stuff on it and it should feel better. Keeping my fingers crossed! My purse is a lot lighter, but so is my mood!

Ugh, Dentist

Well, it is over and done with. Thank goodness. They fit me in this morning. It took two hours. Hubby drove me as roads were still bad, daughter picked me up as the salt trucks had been through and the roads were a little better. I hated it, but I managed to deal with it. I have to go back in January to have the permanent crown put on. My mouth stayed numb for a few hours but is all better now just a little sore in several spots where work was done.

Really? Today? Snow. Dentist.

I had to go to the dentist today so of course it had to snow. It couldn't wait until tomorrow. It couldn't have done it earlier in the week. Nope. Had to be today. Winter Storm Warning - maybe a foot of snow by tomorrow night (but usually weather men wrong). It's on days like this that I really miss public transportation. Mum complains about the buses in Ipswich sometimes, but at least there are some! I hate the dentist and I hate the snow. Together and my anxiety level is really high.

Hubby was nice enough to take a couple of hours off work and drive me there. I had my cleaning and check-up. Not happy. I brush, floss, mouthwash and still I can never seem to have a break from work needing to be done. Hubby brushes teeth, that's it, but rarely has to have anything done. I need to have a crown and two fillings. My insurance runs out at the end of the month so they are trying to fit me in so I can use up the benefits I have left. It's still going to cost a fortune - but less of a fortune than if I didn't have insurance.

While there I asked about their ideas for purchasing insurance. Girl said it was barely worth it. Better just to save your pennies and hope you don't have to have a lot done. I do have a no-interest-if-paid-within-certain-time medical credit card so I'll probably use that for the outstanding amount.

Sometimes I just wish I had false teeth.