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Wednesday, December 22, 2021

 It was really cold this morning when I woke up. I went for a really long walk and just about froze. I just needed to not think for a while, enjoy nature and the beauty around and take photos. Snow was falling lightly while I was out. I think that because it was so cold everyone decided to stay away from the park and it was lovely and quiet. It was really quite beautiful. Very cold though. I couldn't find my long undies and my legs were pretty cold when I was done. I came home and looked for them, but I still can't find them. Tomorrow morning is supposed to be just as cold so I will probably wear some leggings under my jeans. 

I managed one store, got quite a few things on my list, but still have to go out tomorrow to buy the rest. If I am not done tomorrow it won't be bought. I am determined not to go out on Friday. It will be crazy. I did get a whole lot of wrapping done today and tidied up some hotspots in the living room and dining room so I'm feeling a little better. Clearing up has made me realise that I have a lot of work to do in my own house next year. I also realise that I feel quite anxious when there is a lot of stuff/clutter around. My house isn't that big but I like space so there are things that will need to go. I think I shall have to be quite brutal about it. But that's for next year!

I kept busy all day.  There were more tears last night rather than today. I left a memory on Mum's memorial page. I am really glad the funeral home set it up. I'm not sure how long it will be there, but when I'm having a particularly difficult day I go on the page and light a candle or leave a thought. I want there to be more days when I try to think of the good times rather than the guilt I feel at not getting there in time. I know it is all on me as she wouldn't want me to feel that way. It's just tough. I can almost hear her telling me I'm being silly and her giving me a hug. 

I'm not going to end this on me being sad and moaning again. 

We got the Christmas tree up. Photos to come. I put up the ornaments I brought back from Jane's house. I have some I brought back from Mum's but they are still in the (unsorted) boxes. Husband put up the little tree. He usually does. Most of the ornaments we end up putting on the tree are handmade.

Tomorrow I'll be taking another walk. I have three shops to go to. One is just a pickup order, the other is for GC and the third for food. I have the last of the wrapping to do, some neglected housework to do and then I am hoping to take a nice relaxing bath before husband and son get home.

How are your preparations coming? Almost done? 

Today's photo is a picture of daughter, her husband (that sounds so strange to say lol), me and hubby at the light festival this weekend. Happy times. 



5 comments:

  1. I find leggings under jeans works really well, especially with some nice warm socks. It's the layering, isn't it?

    You are NOT moaning. Sad, yes, but it would be very surprising if you weren't, wouldn't it? Accept it and let it help the healing process. xx

    Yes, I'm more or less done and ready. It's just those little last minute things now - remembering the get things out of the freezer at the right time, etc
    xx

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  2. I'm sending you a gentle hug to say that your mum hasn't gone away. She's with you every day. That's a beautiful photo of your family. I'd put it in a frame and hang it on the wall.

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  3. What a lovely picture of you and your husband with the young couple. :) Don't freeze too much when you go out walking and shopping, tomorrow!

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  4. That's a nice picture too. I'm just playing catch up on my blog reading, you'll have several from me today. Good luck getting your things done today.

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  5. Good luck with getting the last lot of shopping over and done with. I hope the shops aren't too busy for you. X

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